ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
*sigh*
This day started so right... I woke up next to my boyfriend, I had a calm morning and a calm afternoon, I delivered my boyfriend right to the doorstep of his brother's girlfriend's house (I know, it's a mouthful) and then I went back home to have dinner with my dad. The weather was lovely all day, I got to go skating too... and now I'm suddenly sad.
It just occurred to me, when I posted my latest deviation, that I will have to stop writing completely if my hand does not recover. It only seems to be getting worse these days. I don't even want to think about this, but I can hardly stop thinking about it. Just typing this is bad. I won't make it long for that reason. The thought of not being able to write makes me want to cry. I love writing so much... if I have to quit, what will I do?
Secondly, I miss my boyfriend, even though he only left this afternoon. Call me selfish all you like, call me childish and spoiled. I don't care. I miss him. When he's around, even if we're both doing something else, I feel better.
When I'm at my mother's house, she is usually working at the computer and my stepdad is usually watching TV, while at my father's place, he and I tend to just sit next to each other at the table and NOT talk for the better part of the evening (not placing the blame on anyone but myself; I usually write or do homework in the evenings when I'm with my dad). These situations make me feel very lonely sometimes... when my boyfriend is here, I don't feel lonely. So when he leaves, that silence and loneliness descend again.
That, and I tend to feel guilty about things... I always fear that I don't love him enough, that I am not good enough for him... He's the nicest guy I've ever met... I don't want to lose him. I want to be with him all day. But I can't, which is why I'm sitting here, alone, writing this journal.
Then there is the shit that's happening in the world. People are fighting everywhere, Japan is flooded and the west is still over-consuming. I feel guilty about this, and sad, and ashamed that I am part of this world. Call me sentimental all you like for this, I don't care. I feel for the people in Japan. I feel for the people in Libia. I feel for all the people who are suffering right now.
And DON'T even think of calling me a weeaboo who only cares now that Japan has been hit by a disaster. I've heard too much of that lately. It saddens me that this has happened because many people were hurt and endangered. Not because the latest chapters won't appear. What do I care about the chapters! I want the people to be safe. I've been praying, just like the others. What else can we do?
Lastly; oral exam tomorrow, and I don't feel ready for it at all. I'm scared that I'll fuck up, so I'm going to practice now. That is, if I don't start crying soon. Damn it, I don't want to feel so sad, but it's happening. I can't help it.
People, cheer me up please? I know it probably won't last, but I feel like shit right now.
Xx Seth
This day started so right... I woke up next to my boyfriend, I had a calm morning and a calm afternoon, I delivered my boyfriend right to the doorstep of his brother's girlfriend's house (I know, it's a mouthful) and then I went back home to have dinner with my dad. The weather was lovely all day, I got to go skating too... and now I'm suddenly sad.
It just occurred to me, when I posted my latest deviation, that I will have to stop writing completely if my hand does not recover. It only seems to be getting worse these days. I don't even want to think about this, but I can hardly stop thinking about it. Just typing this is bad. I won't make it long for that reason. The thought of not being able to write makes me want to cry. I love writing so much... if I have to quit, what will I do?
Secondly, I miss my boyfriend, even though he only left this afternoon. Call me selfish all you like, call me childish and spoiled. I don't care. I miss him. When he's around, even if we're both doing something else, I feel better.
When I'm at my mother's house, she is usually working at the computer and my stepdad is usually watching TV, while at my father's place, he and I tend to just sit next to each other at the table and NOT talk for the better part of the evening (not placing the blame on anyone but myself; I usually write or do homework in the evenings when I'm with my dad). These situations make me feel very lonely sometimes... when my boyfriend is here, I don't feel lonely. So when he leaves, that silence and loneliness descend again.
That, and I tend to feel guilty about things... I always fear that I don't love him enough, that I am not good enough for him... He's the nicest guy I've ever met... I don't want to lose him. I want to be with him all day. But I can't, which is why I'm sitting here, alone, writing this journal.
Then there is the shit that's happening in the world. People are fighting everywhere, Japan is flooded and the west is still over-consuming. I feel guilty about this, and sad, and ashamed that I am part of this world. Call me sentimental all you like for this, I don't care. I feel for the people in Japan. I feel for the people in Libia. I feel for all the people who are suffering right now.
And DON'T even think of calling me a weeaboo who only cares now that Japan has been hit by a disaster. I've heard too much of that lately. It saddens me that this has happened because many people were hurt and endangered. Not because the latest chapters won't appear. What do I care about the chapters! I want the people to be safe. I've been praying, just like the others. What else can we do?
Lastly; oral exam tomorrow, and I don't feel ready for it at all. I'm scared that I'll fuck up, so I'm going to practice now. That is, if I don't start crying soon. Damn it, I don't want to feel so sad, but it's happening. I can't help it.
People, cheer me up please? I know it probably won't last, but I feel like shit right now.
Xx Seth
Long Absence + Exams [10/10]
Hello everyone,
I've been away for a long time, and the reason is very simple; depression. Add to that my mother moving out of her house (my parental home) in the first month of term and a fight with a roommate which kept dragging on and you will see why I had no time for anything but school (and not even for that).
I have had it with making excuses, though. I miss writing, I miss hanging around here and reading everyone's awesome stories, seeing all the art pass by on my screen and talking to everyone, but there is simply no time.
Although now the exams are coming again, procrastination will probably make sure I read a lot of updates anyw
[10/10] Endterms + one request spot left
Nine exams and one paper, all done. Eight results are in. Of these eight, I passed seven, so I have one resit this Monday and then I'm finally free from university for about two weeks. As I haven't had a proper holiday until now, the thought of being completely free pleases me very much.
Now I'm sending myself back to bed. Perhaps I can sleep now. I bet all the insomnia is just stress though, it'll probably get better when I've finished my exams.
--
And then there were more grades... And I passed one of the more nerve-wrecking subjects :D
--
The paper is done, the secret santa is done... now just two more exams and then onwards to the re
Before it is too late...
...one must use fall-themed Journal Skins, don't you think so?
On an unrelated note:
Sometimes, making someone happy is also a good way to make yourself happy. This applies to many areas of life, but in this specific case, I am talking about giving out gifts.
There is hardly anything as interesting as giving someone you like very much a gift and watch their reaction when they open it. Sometimes you miss the target and they give you a 'I won't return it because that's impolite, and oh well you tried' grin and put it away on a shelf to gather dust. But when you hit the mark, you can always tell. It makes people's eyes light up.
I am not sur
Return, Japan and other news.
It's been quite a while... DeviantArt, once a home on the internet, now already half-forgotten. How did things get this far? And how come I am not as sorry as I feel I should be?
Well, for one, because I have been spending my time away pretty well, if I say so myself. I've devoted myself to my chosen subject of Japanese, both language and culture. The first semester was a success: I got 30/30 ECTS. As for the second semester: I am waiting for the results, but I do know that I got 10 ECTS already and I passed the conversation exam (Woot!). That means that if I pass Teksten, I've passed my first year. So I'd say my reason for not being around
© 2011 - 2024 SethFox
Comments94
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Talk to your boyfriend about what worries you and you are the world's happiest man to have him and is allowed to have a happy life.
Your boyfriend has at least not scolded you beyond that he is tired of you and it means surely something and think about the way you are together, it tells you everything about how much you love each other and he is perhaps also concerned that he is not good enough for you.
It upsets me to hear that it is not goes better with your hand, nothing is done then it can be improved and can a fysioteapeut not help you?
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your exam went well and that you get yourself a well deserved rest on top of all examinations.
Helle
Your boyfriend has at least not scolded you beyond that he is tired of you and it means surely something and think about the way you are together, it tells you everything about how much you love each other and he is perhaps also concerned that he is not good enough for you.
It upsets me to hear that it is not goes better with your hand, nothing is done then it can be improved and can a fysioteapeut not help you?
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your exam went well and that you get yourself a well deserved rest on top of all examinations.
Helle